The Days are Long, The Years are Short- LOVE

It really is true.
What all those annoying people have said about your kids growing in the blink of an eye.

I haven't written in a long, long, time.
I guess I have no excuses since I am always busy, and I am always a perfectionist about what I post.
So this time I'm convinced I have writer's block.
Pretty tired of listening to the bullshit in my own head, so I decided to write what comes.

Oh, and I'm sure it will suck.
It's been a long time.

Life is life, but life with kids is Life times a hundred.

(I really would love for someone to make comment, or give me a topic or ask a question, and I will write about it.)
I want to post once a week again.)

Currently, things are not as crazy at the Davis house.
Emma is becoming more civilized, which I really never thought would happen.
Seriously, when others told me parenting is rewarding, I would say, "it's not fucking rewarding for me".
Not Rewarding YET, they would tell me....  Not Yet.

Well, I have been rewarded lately.
Emma started kindergarten.
She is bringing me joy, rather than daily heart ache and I wanna kill you kid ; which is new for me.
She is maturing and ceasing to fight all things, namely ME.
I have been so accustomed to telling her No, and watching her scream for 20 minutes.....every 20 minutes.
She really is changing.
Don't get me wrong, she still screams.
But she is  eager to do her homework, and learn her words and write her sentences.
She looks me in the eyes and she sees me, and I see her.
She takes a moment.
She laughs at herself.
She asks me how to spell everything so she can write new words in her little notebook.
She loves her classmates.
She hugs her teachers when she arrives and when she leaves.

I watch her when she's not looking.
She is kind to that kid that no one plays with;  she shares her food, and holds her friend's hands as they run in the play ground.
She is growing up and I like her.
I actually really like her.


Jaxson is talking non- stop.
He's in pre-school this year three times a week for 4 hours.
The teacher said, " he doesn't like to follow directions."
(hmm, interesting, neither do I)
He has stopped smearing his poop, but he still wears a diaper, so I'm not sure who wins there.
At least I am not cleaning up shit off of walls and crib bars anymore.
He runs around pretending like he is spider man and sometimes a monster, any monster will do.
Everything he holds becomes a gun.
I swear, he just did that naturally.
He still has temper tantrums but if I pretend to cry, he will at least laugh a minute.
He's 3, so, he is still half adorable apple of my eye, and half monkey/ mental patient.
He is getting so much easier.
I'm not sure if that is a tease, or  if it's happening in real life.

I have been enjoying parenting so much more lately.
I make myself STOP and STOP what I'm doing, because it's usually not that important.
When I stop, I can calm down.
Instead of going to that place called : You are driving me craaaaazzzzy! I wish you would just get through this stage.
I am accepting the stage they are at.
Even though I stay home with them, I am not always "there".
Sometimes I am some"where" else.


When they were babies, I wanted them to crawl, I wanted them to walk, I wanted them to talk.
When they were home full time, I wanted them to start school, I wanted them to play together.
I wanted them to stop fighting with each other .

A lot of the time I wanted them to do things that they were not capable of doing.
It was my selfish human need to MAKE things go my way.

That is never going to work with my kids, they go and do in their own time, in their own rhythm.
Don't we all?

Now, I wish I could stop time and spend a few years with them now, the way  they are now.

I want them to know if they do ever read this, that I love them more than I thought I could love.